Eulogy for Margaret Lilian Gray 10 August 1949 - 9 September 2001
at Margaret's funeral, 14 September 2001, Woden Cemetery, Canberra

I am Mary Pollard, Margaret's sister. This is Paul, my husband.

First of all I would like to thank you all for coming to this celebration of the life of Margaret.

Because of the airline chaos Sally Bufe and Mandy Gray, our cousins from Melbourne, who would have represented our family from Melbourne, and John Wilson, who would have represented our Mother's family from Perth, cannot be here today.

John has sent love and a message which my son Alex will read out later. Sally and Mandy have also sent messages.

I shall be talking about Margaret's early life as a young girl growing up in Melbourne and in Perth. My narrative ends in the early 1970s.

Margaret's parents, our parents, Joy Wilson and Alan Gray met in Melbourne in 1948 and married later that year at Christchurch, South Yarra. They lived in Carrum and Oakleigh and finally settled in Eaglemont. Margaret their elder daughter was born on the 10th August 1949 at St Andrew's Hospital, East Melbourne.

Our Father's parents had come to Adelaide in 1854 from England. Father was brought up in Melbourne.

Mother's family on the maternal side had been in Western Australia since the mid 19th century, having arrived from Ireland and England. Mother was a third generation West Australian.

Our maternal grandfather's family were from Scotland. Thus Margaret was a quarter Scots and about three quarters English in ancestry. She was named "Margaret" after her maternal great grandmother and "Lilian" after her paternal grandmother.

Our Mother, Joy, was an arts graduate from the University of Western Australia, majoring in English. For a woman born in 1914 to have a university education was uncommon: mother valued it highly, no doubt because of her Scottish ancestry and because it had opened doors of opportunity for her.

Our Mother had an amazing capacity for happiness and for making friends. She was broad minded and tolerant, and had social intelligence, qualities which Margaret inherited. Margaret was a social creature, a communicator.

Our Father, Alan, was an electronics engineer who worked at what was then known as the Defence Standards Laboratories in Maribrynong, conducting tests with electronics equipment in the physics laboratories. He also co-authored some scientific papers on this work. During the Second World War in the RAAF he had worked with radar in its infancy in England and in New Guinea. Margaret inherited his scientific and mathematical abilities. Yesterday was the 29th anniversary of his death.

As a young girl, Margaret relished companionship and occupation. We both attended a small primary school called Sylvester in Heidelberg. Margaret was introduced to the magic art of modeling in clay, horticulture, drama productions and the elements of writing, reading, using the "Radiant Way" readers, and mathematics. Sylvester had a very stimulating environment. Margaret loved this school and the friends she made there and she was very happy. Her early education experience at Sylvester, in its alternative and creative environment, possibly led to her support and work for the establishment of the Montessori preschool here in Canberra and possibly inspired her endeavours and devotion to the AME School in Weston.

However in 1956 my Father had a heart attack which resulted in him resigning from his position and for a variety of reasons, we moved in 1957 to Perth where Mother's family lived. In Perth we made our home in Scarborough and later lived in Subiaco and Nedlands. Margaret joined the Girl Guides. She adored the activities and camps at "Paxwold" in Kalamunda and the opportunity for adventure away from home with a new friends.

From an early age Margaret always read the West Australian newspaper and used to surprise Mother by supplying additional comment on current topics Margaret attended St Hilda's Anglican School for Girls in Mosman Park from 1961 to 1966. Two of my close school friends Ros Dalziell and Jane Turbayne who are here today have told me how they were so pleased that as an older girl she bothered to come up and talk to us at recess or at lunch time and was always friendly, open and smiling. School friendships rarely crossed year levels in those days at St Hilda's.

The school, old fashioned by today's standards in that we wore gloves and hats and maintained lady like behaviour at all times, also inspired high ideals and duty and an appreciation and consideration for others less fortunate than ourselves. Margaret's religious background from church and school encouraged idealism and a determination to make a real contribution to society.

Margaret received prizes for academic excellence at school and in her final year, quaintly known as "upper sixth", proved herself an all - rounder, by winning prizes in physics, chemistry and also the coveted Parnell English prize with her essay entitled "Humanities- their place in a scientific age". She was member of the senior debating team, and an "A" grade chess player. Her team entered the State Junior Chess Championships winning the trophy for the best performance by a school.

Our Mother used to take us to art galleries, drama productions, the ballet and other cultural events. Margaret learnt to play the piano. She developed a fine aesthetic taste and discernment of beautiful things. She was uplifted by nature: she particularly loved the mountain views around her home in Fisher.

Our Father, Alan, who she admired greatly used to discuss issues in history and politics with her. Both our parents encouraged and developed her talents.

Margaret "made her debut" in 1967 when she was presented to Governor and Lady Kendrew at the Red Cross Ball in Government House, a glamorous and exciting event for a 17 year old with the accompanying parties and social functions.

Attending the University of Western Australia was one of the happiest times of Margaret's life where she could combine her considerable social talents with her academic pursuits. She was elected to Guild Council, that is the Student Union in her second year and continued as a Councillor for three years while obtaining her Bachelor of Arts Degree with honours in Psychology.

Because of her many social activities, she often had to cram just before exams and yet still did well. She took her responsibilities seriously while enjoying a full social life.

She relished student politics, mixing on Guild Council with Kim Beazley, Jim McGinty, Bob McMullen, Daryl Williams, John Dawkins and Sue Boyd, who was the first woman Guild President. While on Guild Council Margaret attended an NUAUS (National Union of Australian University Students) conference at Sydney University and there she met her good friend Andrea Hull who is here today and was Margaret's bridesmaid with me.

She contributed to the University of Western Australia's newspaper called "Pelican." I remember we were stunned that her first article was on wine appreciation which for her coming from a most abstemious household was quite an achievement!

Her first major idea while on Guild was to set up a creche on campus so that mothers could return to study. This she achieved, I think in a house in Park Street Nedlands, - a remarkable effort which assisted many young women to further their careers.

She always approached a task with dedication, deep thought, planning and meticulous administration.

Margaret also was active in University Camp For Kids which ran a seaside summer holiday program for underprivileged children: such was her generous and warm nature.

In 1971 Margaret obtained a position in the Department of Foreign Affairs in Canberra and commenced her promising, if brief, diplomatic career. At the time it was rare and difficult for a woman to enter the diplomatic service. Her first posting in 1972 was as Third Secretary to the Australian High Commission in Kuala Lumpur where she was immediately popular with the locals and diplomatic staff socially, while bringing intellectual ability and fine personal qualities to her work.

I'll leave others to speak on her marriage and children and later activities but the foundations for her great contributions can be seen to have been laid in family and early activities.

Paul and I find it incomprehensible that such a talented and beautiful person should die so prematurely Margaret should have had decades more to contribute to her family, and to the good causes that she supported wholeheartedly and into which she threw her energies.

Margaret had a generous and giving nature. Above all, I will miss her cheerfulness, her thoughtful intelligent conversation and commentary on current ideas and events.

Thank you for loving Margaret and for supporting her family today.

Finally, I will ask Rosamund Dalziell to read a poem I have selected, by Gerard Manley Hopkins entitled "Spring and Fall: to a young child."